Fortunately, Unfortunately

[spira.]

Rules:

Create a story, with each sentence alternating between starting with fortunately or unfortunately.

Example:

Fortunately, you found a treasure map.

Unfortunately, it was written in a language I could not understand.

Fortunately, there was a dark wizard that could translate it.

Unfortunately, he was evil and killed you.

Have fun!

[spira.]

I'll Start:

Fortunately, there was a guy named Jacob Morgan.

[senkritter]

unfortunately, you got nuked with an atom bomb point blank in the back of the head.

[Diabeto]

unfortunately I peed your pants

[Crumb]

Already fumbled